Here you can read the booklet discussed on the page Men talk about child sexual abuse.
This booklet provided an opportunity for men who had experienced child sexual abuse to speak out about their own experiences and what they felt was important in helping them. By presenting their feelings, views and experiences, it is hoped that other survivors, the community and professionals who work in the area, will learn more about child sexual abuse and its effects. It may also encourage and empower other survivors to speak out.
Seventeen adult male survivors of child sexual abuse participated. Some of the survivors interviewed were pre-schoolers at the time of the abuse while others were of primary or secondary school age. They come from a cross-section of the community and range in age from 20 years to 55 years of age.
Contributor’s views
What the men themselves had say about their stories being published in this booklet:
‘It will reach out to guys. They will be able to accept that they are not alone and that they are not abnormal, that other guys have shared a common sort of experience. I hope that a booklet like this will in some way help to break that isolation. I encourage them to reach out and break the silence because there is a life out there if you look for it, and there are supportive people who you can trust and who will understand you and respect you and not reinforce your negative feelings in regard to your abuse.’
‘I can actually see how this booklet could help people. I feel connected to some of the other survivors. The effort of the interviews is really worth it. I feel like I’ve made some contribution to help fix a serious problem.’
‘I could put it (the booklet) down because it hurt so much, but I couldn’t put it down because it helped so much.’
‘I was reading and looking for my own quotes and then I stopped looking for my quotes and I had a sense of identifying with the other men. I feel really positive, I feel out in the public. I am one among many. I feel a lot more comfortable and I think I can feel a lot of what each person is saying.’
‘For me contributing to this booklet has been another significant milestone in my recovery from the abuse I had to endure as a child and adolescent. I know I can and will recover from the sexual abuse because I am able to.’
‘Reading my quotes makes me feel very clear about what happened — it’s not something vague in my mind. Also seeing that it’s not only me but other people too gives me a certain strength.’
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1 comment
Comment by MICHAEL
MICHAEL June 3, 2016 at 1:52 am
I believe my story is one of the most sad and tragic … (childhood and adolescence had 70-80 e yy in the Soviet Union, where sex is not as described, godless time … cann’t imagine what happened then … , and now if not worse) as I can remember growing up is very weak and sickly child … in a word was like a girl … all I offended … teased … was shameful moniker … which for me is still like a knife to the heart ….. it was very, very hard .., in general, is probably more and wanted to be a girl … was friends with the girls … with all the guys there …. they are only sexually attracted to me … played in the women’s game and role-playing with dolls … dressed as a woman … beautiful … voobrozhal like a girl …. a girl …. woman. … and they wanted to be … to love and simpotizirovali beautiful and mature men …. like them …. proximity, intimacy and affection … it all started somewhere in the 5 years -7 …. then I was of course difficult to understand …. what’s happening to me ….. everything was somehow confusing and subconsciously …. not to arbitrarily …
Grew up in a family (we always feel the need), where his father was an alcoholic …. which we badly hurt … the mother I tried to protect herself and was of course always by my side … ie me mostly only She and her grandmother (she even planted the seed of faith in me, about God, I always knew) …. you know what we went through … has an older brother … he and his family live separately .. .., he is also a child I was hurt … selected the toy cars ….. and I went to the dolls …..
At 6 years old, there was epileptic. attack and a long 10 years, I was registered by a psychiatrist …
Then I went to school .. which was especially hard ….. I just do not want to hand over poor progress in spec. school and not once not to get rid of the reason .., in general, all purpose flour began discrimination because of weakness and feminism ….. and so on. Then he started having problems with socialization and proforietatsiey ….. self-esteem was no …. because constantly humiliated and harassed at home … and in the community …. and I gradually faded love for people …., .. there was suspicion that I, as a “white crow” .. not like everyone else. .., an outcast ….. it’s because I do not see the person …. a person in the first place …. but only just “this” …. in fact it was so … , our Soviet-Russian society only cripples the mind and makes a person an outcast ….
At 11 years old, when his mother came in with inflammation bonitsu, the father began to drink the black .., I had a psychosis .. I kakazalos that everything is so bad and terrible .. that we are inferior milestones … for 1, 5 months old, I was put into a closed nut. child care …
The first contact took place somewhere in the 12-13 years … but I think something similar occurred in the past … just very, very vaguely remembered it all to me …. maybe even incest … .?, I was all very new and unusual … then there was a second contact, which he laughed at me wrong and I was just forced to communication, ie to apply moral violence over me …. and all extended … and of course I was wrong on him and hurt … and to this day ….. this pervert pedophile still lives on in my 2 steps … and I am his avoid …. I anything to anyone about it … do not tell, and that is typical of God does not punish … all of them now in perfect health .., I do not want to see …. and this pain lived up to 25 years … because before there were no normal specialists … or .. psychologists or teachers … or imple Cetra … NOBODY! and NOTHING! ….. who could you just listen and support … and the most important thing to understand … Then came all this suffering … craving for same-sex relationships and a passionate desire for that pervert … About a family that’s where I get the understanding and support …. could not have been at all out of the question …. not to mention the rest …. if only they knew …. I do not know .. that all might even be ….?, I was even afraid to imagine … relations brother and his family to me … still much to be desired …
Then there were the rare contacts …., the most lasting, especially with a former friend from childhood (more than a year do not communicate) ….. which by nature is very bad and dirty people … how many times he had me on this soil substituted a .., and himself in the bushes … one time I even had to go away for a long time out of the house …. and because of it, too … and he sat out the reptile and hid from everyone … ., and so far that he is living parasitically, and hidden (was dependent on him for sex … not anymore … in my heart there was never anything to do), and his mother was a witch … not I know realize whether or not it … but it dirty tricks … it was not until 25 years old …. I live in the same area … where you know every dog …. where so then I hear the cries after nicknames from childhood …. and go somewhere … just not possible ….
Do parents have been such debility or indifferent, they could not assess the situation … that would be better for the child …. ie understand immediately leave and so on.? They were busy with the problems of survival …. only where there really had to think about the soul …. degradation …
Through these difficulties in 1994, I came to God … but it was way too difficult … in 1997, through the Protestants to Orthodoxy …
It was very painful for me, so it’s parting with the past …., was at a loss …. did not know where to start ….. abstinence was 5-years old … without contacts and masturbation …. then were falling …. and there in terms of the internet … but I still try to be faithful to God and the Church …, very worried about their future in the spiritual realm and in terms of creating a family. .., because hope in this life no one else to … my mother had aged, sick .., .. fear of loneliness, abandonment … of old age, and so on.
On the way to overcome this is just a time for over 10 years … all of it can be not so tragic … if I in 1997 on the same basis of being robbed, stripped, …, and in 2000 th, I had an accident (trauma spine-compress. fracture, inv.2 th c ..), and in 2001 my father was killed on the job …
And this is only part of what can only tell … Often I have the evil in everything … so … why?
To be honest ….. that’s my story … mixed, as being with t / s inclinations .. I went on the road r / c … be that as offsetting …, m since there was no other way …. this is where it was, and the way to survive .. and, accordingly, the conditions too … but later believed and offsetting all faith in God ….
Times are changing and ….. but then the problems are problems throughout his life …..